Heaven is Crying
by Momonster
Summary: Cloud's inner turmoil as he leaves Zack's side for the last time, and how he continues to step forward.


Heaven is Crying

Rain fell from the skies.

Lightning screamed across the dark grey clouds, thunder accompanying every streak of light.

Left…Right…

I will not think. I…can't think about it.

Left…Right…

I fought for the mindless peace the mako had given me. All I want is quiet.

Quiet from these thoughts that have suddenly reappeared, the mindless words echoing around me, cracking my heart in half-

Left…Right…

He's dead!

-before shattering it into a million pieces.

Left…Right…

_He's dead!_

The skies screamed for me while I couldn't make a sound.

"_So, Cloud, while yes on the way __Modeoheim__ we did met and sortakinda became friends…I really want to get to know you better. You're the only one I've found in this place born and raised outside of Midgar, ya know? Say _what…_why not become friends? _Real_ friends and not just war buddies, okay?"_ _Bright crystal eyes where earnest, puppy dog expression mischievous even with his innocent expression. _

_Stop it!_ Stop thinking about what you've lost, _you can't get it back!_

"_Why can't you listen to me when I trying to tell you! Just leave me alone!" those eyes were narrowed now, even as he tilted his head in puppy like confusion, studying me. He needs to stay away, before these assholes tear into him through me, I can't let that happen!_

"_You're…being bullied…because of me." He started slowly, those damn eyes, so irresistible, locked on my own. "And they want something of me, through you…and you're _pushing_ me away…to _help_ me." I gaped at him. "I've been in your shoes, Cloud. Remember, Angeal was my mentor when I was a cadet." I waved a hand._

"_I don't _care_ what you think. Just leave me alone. Don't you get it, a First Class and a Cadet can't be this close for no apparent reason!"_

"_Then I'll mentor you." I froze, gaping at the SOLDIER First Class standing cockily before me, and _that_ smile appeared again, the one that froze my heartbeat months before._

_Crystal blue eyes smiling down at me, that irresistible grin wide on his eager puppy face._

"_You think I'll leave you alone after that? Now you're _really_ stuck with me!"_

I let my head fall back, the rain pelting my face. I really couldn't feel it, everything was numb…

_You're DEAD!_ Why did you have to do this! Why save me only to die! Did you think I could live with you gone, truly survive without you! You're my _everything!_ My mind, my heart, my soul, my _everything's_ died _with you!_

I slowed to a stop, closing my eyes while letting the sky cry for me. I had nothing left to give. The Buster Sword started to fall from my hand as my knees buckled.

_Zack, the only man I could ever truly call beautiful, gasped softly, lips hovering ove__r my collarbone, the most blissful expression I had ever seen on his face, even twisted as it was in the throws of pleasure as he moaned into my skin. I came down slowly, gasping soundlessly as Zack clutched me close, the twitching of his member deep inside me slowing to a stop._

"_Oh, Cloud…" he moaned softly, turning us both until we were side to side, him rubbing my back as I caught my breath. "Perfect. That was…" I sniggered into his shoulder and he huffed, blinking those beautiful eyes rapidly. "What? I'm trying to show you how awesomely amazing you are, but I can't find the words. Sorry!" I laughed again as he lifted himself off of my chest, glaring down at me wild hair everywhere, his bright utterly satisfied smile destroying any ill will his voice had a slight chance of conveying. I stretched, wrapping my arms around him to draw him down into a soft kiss, unhurriedly tasting every corner of his mouth._

"_The very fact," I breathed out as we pulled apart, grinning as he fought to catch his breathe. "That sleeping with me makes you speechless, is a point for me. Speechlessness is a spectacle never before inflicted upon you in your lifetime, right?" He pouted. "Is a very good compliment on its own, Zack." He laughed, the low husky sound making me shiver._

"_Is that so?" he started, rolling us until I sat on his lap, both his hands clutching onto my ass. "Then we'll see if it's a repetitive phenomenon, Cadet."_

I only feel safe in your arms.

My only happiness is to be by your side. With you gone how am I to breathe freely?

You ask me to live, to live for the both of us…but how can I do that when I never knew how to before you came to me?

My life _is_ you. Without you I can barely breathe, can't think past the pain, I want nothing more than to die beside you!

Did you really think you could _just die in my arms_ and _I could walk away?_

How could you even dare to think I'd let you fight for our freedom alone? Did you even wonder if I could fight by your side?

…Why did it seem as if you lead them all, so only I…could get away, alive?

"Cloud! Look out!" Everything seemed to seethe. Arms wrapped around my waist and I instinctively grabbed onto strong limbs as they swung me about with only the strength a First could have, and moments later I found myself surrounded by warmth. Heavy breathing echoed around me as I released his arms, gripping onto his shirt moments later

"Z…z…Zack?" fighting to get the words out, I opened my eyes, blinking rapidly against the brightness.

"Cloud?" for the first time, Zack's voice wavered around me, clear and strong, and full of tears. I looked at him, blinking rapidly, chagrinned to see newly violet eyes swallowed by tears.

"Hey…" I managed to rasp out, raising a hand to press my fingers against his forehead. Zack smiled then, bright and sunlight while still sad thunderstorms. Zack turned slightly, and then turned to the driver.

"Hey! Head east and drop us off, okay?"

"If I leave you here, they'll kill you both!" the man stated. I blinked, fighting to sit up in Zack's arms while glancing about.

Everywhere, lining the hills around us, I could hear the static of electronics. ShinRa's heavy scent of Mako and blood blew through the wind. I could feel Zak quickly jerking around, experienced eyes taking in everything, cataloguing what he could do.

He didn't need to tell me there was no hope.

"They have surrounded us, Zack." I mumbled. "No matter where he goes…he'll just get pulled into this mess." Zack nodded slowly.

"Old man! Pull over here!"

"But if I leave you here, they'll kill you!" Zak's muscles tightened around me.

"Never thought I'd find someone so pure in a world like this." He murmured, before speaking louder. "Rather us than you. You have a family, a life to get back to." Zak sounded tired, so…soul weary. "We…we only wanted to rebuild ours."

Bullets flying by.

Blood splashing upon the ground.

A dance of muscle and steel, death and blood.

Too much too fast.

Then I lost my everything.

Could feel the bullets tear into him.

Could hear his heartbeat slow.

Could hear his low moans, mixing with his heavy pants for breathe.

Could feel the burn in his muscles, hear the thoughts in his head-

_This is not over yet! I haven't done enough I'm not done I can't be done I have to get him home, make him well, I'm not done here I can't be done here!_

Felt it when for that brief moment, his heart stopped.

I had to hear it again; I had to hear him again.

It hurt, crawling forward with useless legs to get to Zack, and when I did…

Everything seemed to tilt forward, and I let my eyes fall shut, resisting the instinct to fight back when an arm wrapped itself around my waist, stopping my fall while a hand wrapped around my own, keeping the Buster's hilt in the palm of my hand

You can't stop here.

I gasped, fighting back tears at the whispered words.

You can't, and you know it. You are so close…finish what you started, SOLDIER.

"I'm no SOLDIER." I croaked, and the arm around my waist started to pull me back upward. I didn't bother to fight it, blinking back tears at the scent wafting around me. Like all SOLDIERs, Zack smelt like Mako and blood; always had since I first time met him, even back when he was a Second Class.

However, once we became close; and then became lovers, pressed against his chest warm and safe…I could smell warm honey on his skin.

Mako, Blood, honey.

Think about what you have survived Cloud.

"Only because you carried me…died for me. I never took a step on my own."

And yet here you stand. There was a soft chuckle. Even with me gone, have you truly given up? If I hadn't shown up here, would you have fallen and not gotten back up?

I blinked, and then straightened my spine. I…don't know.

You did fine before I found you, and only flourished more under my care. But…did you really need to lean on me?

"I guess not." I murmured softly, and closed my eyes when a hand glossed over my cheek.

Then do me proud. Live on. Live for both of us. I don't expect to see you for a good two hundred years, you hear me, SOLDIER?

"Sir, yes Sir."

Then do what you need to.

And just like that, the scent vanished. I let out a soft sob, but shook my head, turning to the sword I held.

Flexing my arm, I easily lifted the Buster Sword into the air, and held the hilt before my face, closing my eyes.

I'll do you proud, Zack. I will do you and the honor the legacy you've given me proud.

And I swear.

ShinRa will pay.

Left, Right

Left, Right

And as the gates of Midgar came into view, the sun returned.

"That's right Cloud. Be the hero to this Planet and her Goddess I never could."

* * *

_And there we go. Proof that I am alive. (while my Betamuse lady Princess Schatje Dreamer can't really claim that, in the future she is)_

_Muse is kicking my black ass. Really. I'm trying to work on that and rewriting other stuff while not getting distracted, but you know what ends up happening? I sleep. ^^"_

_A lot. _

_So. A sneak peek of my newest writing style, since the last things I wrote were not of this calibre. (in my humble self-scrutiny)_

_For everyone else, something to coo or cackle at. _

_*waves two fingers* _

_Momonster out~_

**_And a look at the the horrors I have to go through daily. _**

**_Yes, this is a blatant call for pity. _**

**_The stressed and tired Princess Muse thing out~_**


End file.
